Again, I’m overstimulated. This time by a simple cup of tea. Caffeine, it’s a killer. This isn’t a first for me, and it isn’t a first for anyone nor is it a last. So I thought I’d wax about it and do something else, I forgot what, my mind just jumped from it.
Why am I so overstimulated? Long answer short: that’s just how things are going these days. Longer answer: I’m a coffee-holic. I try to keep my coffee under control, but that’s an exercise in futility. Really, it is. Don’t ever think of judging me for it because you’ve probably had the exact same problem: drinking too much coffee. It’s a serious problem but for a twenty something like me, coffee is pretty much considered part of the daily water intake. I tried today to overcome it and drink some tea, who knew that strongly brewed black tea also had a lot of caffeine in it. Getting my midday drink on has never been so difficult.
So now I’m antsy, agitated, and my brain is flitting around like a hummingbird.
But we’ve all done it. We do it in the vain hope that maybe one more cup will bring about mental clarity or maybe one more cup will raise energy levels back to normal only to forget that there’s about a full hour before coffee has its full effect so that extra cup was one just too much. The promise of a little more or something a little better is like grasping for the second cigarette to chain smoke and get a little more relaxed when what it really does is cause queasiness and head spins. It’s far too easy to do in the end, which is why I think we all do it.
For me, it’s always one more cup while writing. I don’t need that extra cup for me to sit down and write, but god help me if I have to write without something to drink next to me and the hotter it is the better. Hence the tea. There’s something about writing that compels me to drink, drink coffee, drink tea, drink beer, anything except for water. I wish I could drink water while writing, but it just never feels quite right because it has no flavor to it. Maybe one day it will. Probably not. But for the time being I need my drink, I just need it. Sitting here right now with just water to reach out to seems unnatural compared to sipping a little at a hot cup of earl grey. It’s cozy, warm, I could curl up with a cup of tea and the short 15 second vacation from writing for my thoughts to collect. It’s probably that and not the caffeine that I want, but water doesn’t give it to me.
They say water is refreshing. My ass it is.
Now that I’m overstimulated though, I’m having to go over my work with an extra critical editing eye that I no longer possess because I’ve had too much. I love editing in this state and seeing the aftermath. I always miss the most basic of things like Capital versus Capitol. Given enough energy and stimulation, the wrong things seem right. Now, I feel words almost at the tip of my tongue that would never have been there if I wasn’t caffeinated, but more importantly the wrong words are forming before them. And my sentences are something that I struggle to connect with the previous one since my mind is already on the next paragraph. It’s overstimulated through overcaffeinating. Now, I just need to wait for it to die off. At least this time it was only tea, I’d probably be a wreck if this was coffee.